My my, does time fly. It seems only yesterday that the streets lit up with the sounds of opening candy wrappers, the joyful laughter of children, and the glorious sounds of my computer keyboard tap-tapping away as I defended myself against the Facebook trolls who seemed to have a problem with yet another one of my promiscuous halloween costumes (sexy-Kim-Jong-Un seemed a good idea at the time). While I am still fairly behind in schedule in choosing between sexy-parking-metre or sexy-trump costume ideas for this year, best believe that the misogyny who lit up the comments section of my last year’s outfit photo like fireworks on new years are rearing up for round two. Nothing like the smell of slut-shaming in the morning, kids.
Slut shaming, in basic terms, follows the entertaining and extremely low-IQ formula of: “That girl’s belly button is showing in public! Think of the children!”, and halloween seems to bring out the worst of it. Not only is a theory embedded with hypocrisy, as I see men in public everyday showing off their plumbers cracks without not a care in the world (Perth northern suburbs, what a place), it goes against the simple fact that woman can wear whatever they want.
For the guys reading this, if you see a girl in a costume other than a giant sheet, remember, don’t panic. Yes, she knows perfectly well what she looks like and yes, her parents do know she goes out dressed like that. Did your parents drill you for your topless, poorly-put-together gladiator costume when you left the house? Didn’t think so. So when you do see a girl with an exposed leg or a tiny bit of torso showing, a nifty trick I like to try is treating her the same as everyone else. No amounts of fishnet stockings are going to stop the world from spinning, mate.
Showing skin ain’t a sin kids, so I have compiled a list of flesh-flashing costume inspiration for this year’s Halloween celebrations:
Okay, this one may literally be a sin, but this oldie-but-goody is fairly cheap to create. Some black and white fabric and some sultry lingerie will bring you from sister-act to heavenly hottie in no time.
Sexy Lady Liberty
Nowhere on the Statue of Liberty does it say ‘cover up a bit love’. Non-time consuming and fairly comfy, a plus with this costume idea is that Lady Liberty is commonly depicted with one breast exposed, giving the costume that extra bit of festive flair.
Bring your nostalgia for the magical wizarding world of Hogwarts to this year’s Halloween party. Team up a hat, cloak, and maroon tie with your favourite lingerie bodysuit and heels and I’m sure every wand in that room will choose you.